What Are You Carrying?

HiReader,

Nothing particularly significant has changed in my life over the past few weeks. But something about me has changed. I feel lighter.

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I am midway through The 28 Day Fascia Reset and there’s been a significant reduction in tension in areas of my body that have been tight for quite some time: my upper back is the main area where I noticed it most. Coincidentally, it’s also the area behind the heart - a place I associate with that feeling of physically and emotionally guarding ourselves.

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There’s a brightness inside of me. I’m laughing more. Not that I was ever a total stick in the mud but I have a tendency to get bogged down by all my responsibilities and ruminate on the details of my daily to-do list.

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Another nice observation has been a greater amount of free-flowing creativity. Part of my work involves creating content and coming up with ideas for videos, newsletters and new projects, which I genuinely love doing. It gives my imagination somewhere to go. There's something about being engaged, curious and creative that makes me feel more alive.

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WHEN THE BODY FEELS LIGHTER, DOES THE MIND FOLLOW?

The majority of people who return from a vacation typically look more relaxed, youthful and happy. Then once the routine of life kicks back in, so does the weight on one’s shoulders.

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Structure is helpful but it needs the balance of play in life to break things up so we don’t become rigid in our thinking and in our bodies. Doing the fascia work every day for 15 minutes has opened my eyes to noticing how critical it is to move slowly, to breathe deeply, and become aware of my body in a different way. I enjoy going to the gym and lifting weights because it provides tangible feedback. The number of pounds I can lift tells me how I’m progressing in strength, while something as simple as getting up off the floor without using my hands tells me something about my mobility. But doing the fascia reset feels different—more like a subtle internal and external shift of letting go, both conceptually and physically.

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It’s the yin and yang concept. Lifting weights is very yang and the fascia reset is more yin. It’s the balance of both the mind and body, the masculine and feminine energies within ourselves. We can become out of balance when there is too much of one thing that tips the scale. Eating too much, sitting for too long or working 50+ hours a week. .

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When we slow down enough, we can feel and sense our surroundings and inner world more deeply.

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Sometimes we don’t realize how much tension we are carrying until some of it disappears. And perhaps that applies to more than physical tension.

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​WHY DOES THIS FEEL A LITTLE LIKE CHILDHOOD?

I used to go to the park with my friends every day after elementary school finished at 3pm. It was the same for my daughter (I got to relive it again which was great!). Games of tag, pretending you were a character from a fairy tale and the jungle gym was the beanstalk leading up to the giant’s castle. Imagination has no limits.

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Being more child-like has been a welcome shift for me these past few weeks.

Not that childhood is perfect and carefree for everyone. But it is a state of mind worth exploring and having as much as possible. What’s not to like about being curious, spontaneous, uninhibited and living in the moment?

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It’s not that I want to be ten years old again or look like I’m eighteen. It's about rediscovering some of the qualities that can get buried underneath adulthood. Maybe what I was experiencing wasn't feeling "younger." Maybe I was simply feeling less burdened. Aha! That’s it.

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​THE STRANGE PART: MY LIFE HASN'T BECOME EASIER​
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I still have bills that need to be paid, a pile of laundry and a long list of to-do’s to tackle. So yes, there’s still a lot on my mind. But… It’s easier for me to put these things on the shelf and make a note to self: I don't have to carry every problem every minute of every day.

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​THE TWO MONKS AND THE WOMAN

There’s a Buddhist proverb that I always liked because the message is universal and strikes a chord in all of us. I may be a little off on the exact wording of the story but I’ll give it my best shot. There were two monks traveling together and they came upon a river they needed to swim across. There was one problem. A woman who wanted to cross but couldn’t swim. One of the Monks (we’ll refer to him as Monk A) offered to help the woman. Monk B frowned at Monk A and said, “You know we are not supposed to have any contact with women let alone, have her on your back swimming across the river.”

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Monk A ignored Monk B, feeling called to help and not wanting to leave the woman stranded and alone in this deserted area. So Monk A told the woman to climb on his back and he swam across the river with her.

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Monk B swam across the river as well and when everyone arrived onto dry land, Monk A put the woman down. She gratefully thanked him and went on her way. Meanwhile, Monk B turned his back on Monk A and began to walk ahead clearly communicating his disapproval.

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Once Monk A caught up to Monk B, they continued to walk in silence. After several hours of walking and no communication between the two men, Monk A spoke and said, “I put the woman down on the ground a long time ago. Why are YOU still carrying her?”

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WHAT ARE WE STILL CARRYING?

How many things do we continue carrying long after the actual event has passed? It could be a mistake we made a long time ago, a disagreement with a friend or family member, resentment, regret, guilt, a belief about ourselves, a story we can’t stop telling others and to ourselves, a belief about what aging is supposed to look like, a generational pattern… And the “stories” we tell ourselves go on and on and on…

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How much of what feels heavy today actually belongs to today? Our experiences can leave an imprint on us—emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. We can find ourselves holding tension in the body while simultaneously replaying an experience in the mind, sometimes long after the event itself has passed. There are also fascinating ideas around consciousness, energy and the human biofield that explore whether there's more to this relationship than we currently understand. That's a rabbit hole for another day. What we do know is that experiences can shape our nervous system, our behaviors and the patterns we repeat. Finding ways to process and release what we're carrying—rather than continually rehearsing it—can help us respond to life differently.

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​IS THIS REALLY ABOUT AGE?

We tend to associate youth with being carefree, spontaneous and open, while getting older is often portrayed as becoming more burdened, serious and set in our ways.

But I don't think age necessarily has that much to do with it.

Someone can be thirty years old and feel exhausted, overwhelmed and stuck, while someone in their seventies, eighties or even nineties can be inquisitive, silly and fully engaged with life. I've seen plenty of examples of both.

Of course, life circumstances matter. Health, relationships, finances and the unexpected curveballs that come our way matter. But our attitude toward what happens matters too. We often have more choice in how we respond than we realize.

Shit happens and you can freak out. OR, pause, take a breath and find a better way to handle the intensity of the situation. And sometimes you just can't help but have a moment with whatever comes up. Scream, cry and then let it move through you and out.

Maybe some of what we attribute to "getting older" isn't actually age at all. Maybe it's everything we've accumulated while getting older—the disappointments, expectations, old stories and beliefs about who we're supposed to be and what aging itself is supposed to look like.

How much of that are we carrying simply because we've been carrying it for so long? Sometimes we can become strangely comfortable with our own discomfort. It’s familiar. We know it. And oddly enough, even something uncomfortable can feel safer than letting go of what we’ve known for years.

I don't know about you, but I'm just plain ol' sick and tired of carrying 500+ pounds of luggage around inside my head for several decades. That's what it's like to hold onto burdens.

When you really look at it with plain, simple logic: What purpose does it serve now?

Maybe there was a reason you picked up that luggage in the first place. But do you still need to be carrying it?

Huh?

I rest my case.

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AND YES, HORMONES MATTER

Since I work primarily with women going through menopause and beyond, I can't talk about mindset without acknowledging physiology.

Hormones absolutely play a role in how we feel.

Changes during the menopause transition can influence sleep, mood, energy, cognition and how we respond to stress. If you haven't slept well for three nights and you're having hot flashes every hour, telling yourself to simply "change your mindset" isn't particularly helpful.

The physiology is real.

But I also don't believe we are helpless and completely at the mercy of it.

There's a big difference between acknowledging that something is influencing us and believing it has complete control over us.

The same applies to our age, our past and our circumstances.

We may not get to choose everything that happens to us, but we do have some say in what we do with it.

THIS IS WHERE MINDSET BECOMES AGENCY

I'm a big believer in personal responsibility, but personal responsibility isn't the same thing as blaming yourself.

It's being willing to look at the thoughts you repeatedly think, the beliefs you hold, the choices you've made and the patterns you continue to repeat.

Some of those beliefs are consciously ours.

Others may have been handed to us by our parents, families, culture or generations before us. We can absorb a belief so early in life that we don't even recognize it as a belief. It simply becomes the way things are.

Until we question it.

Is this actually true?

Is this belief mine?

Is this pattern still serving me?

Do I want to continue carrying it?

That's where we have agency.

We can become aware of something and decide whether we want to continue feeding it with our attention and energy or begin doing something differently.

That doesn't mean everything changes overnight. Some things take time to work through. Some require action. Some need grieving, forgiveness or acceptance.

And some things simply need to be put down—like those suitcases you've been lugging around for most of your life.

PUT IT DOWN AND GO LIVE YOUR LIFE

Maybe there's something you've been carrying that doesn't need to come with you everywhere you go.

A worry you can't do anything about today.

Something someone said to you years ago.

A mistake you've already learned from.

An expectation about where you thought you'd be at this point in your life (I can relate to that one!)

Or maybe it's a belief about aging and what you're supposed to look like, feel like or be capable of doing at a certain age.

Putting something down doesn't mean pretending it never happened.

It means recognizing that you don't have to give it your attention every damn minute of every day.

Put it on the shelf.

Go outside and let the sun shine on your face and give those mitochondria (the powerhouses inside your cells) some love.

Move your body (if you have to sit a lot for work, set a timer on your phone every 45 minutes and do jumping jacks or standing side bends).

Laugh at something ridiculous. (My go-to is an Adam Sandler movie because he is the perfect man child of immaturity and slapstick humor. Watch “Chuck and Larry”).

Play (whatever that means to you. Work in your garden if you have one, try bowling, visit the zoo; animals are great examples of living in the present moment).

Learn something new.

Spend time with someone you love.

Allow yourself to become completely absorbed in what's directly in front of you (And no, I don’t mean TV ).

Your problems will still be there if and when you need to pick them up again.

But this moment is part of your life too.

COMING FULL CIRCLE

I started the 28 Day Fascia Reset because I was curious about what I might notice in my body.

I wasn't expecting it to make me think this much about what I've been carrying in my life.

Physical tension. Mental tension. Responsibilities. Old thoughts and patterns. The endless list of things that need attention.

Maybe feeling lighter isn't about waiting for life to become less heavy.

Maybe it's recognizing that we don't have to carry all of it at once.

The monk put the woman down when he reached the other side of the river.

Maybe there's something you've already carried far enough too.

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Many blessings to you for abundant health, happiness and wellbeing ~

Strong and Beautiful in Midlife!

Sharon

Kuhle Body is a project of Vidya Ministerium, a faith based, private membership association. Services are available to members only. Membership is free and we are always accepting new members. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please read our PMA Declaration.​